His Social Graces are no Match for His Vocabulary

So we’re entering a new phase in our family — the turn thirty shades of red because your three-year-old just said something way out of line phase. Yes, you experienced moms know what I mean.  I’m afraid my hand is just not quick enough to cover my sons mouth as he blurbs out rude comments and misguided “compliments” to surprised (and so far, good natured) folks we encounter at random. As much as I try to explain that it’s rude to say certain things, I know he’s really not to blame. It’s just that at this point in his life his social graces are just no match for his vocabulary.

socialgracesLast week as we searched for a parking place in the unusually crowded Parents Day Out parking lot, I headed toward Rock Star parking just to be edged out by a large SUV. Although I spied the spot first, the other driver had no clue I was circling around for a landing. I simply showed my disappointment with a heavy sigh and verbal explanation, “She took my spot.” There wasn’t much angst in my voice (for once) and I quickly got over the issue. . . but apparently my son had a beef with the matter and he needed to be heard.

As we were walking to the building several strides behind a couple of ladies (not the offending party) and their small children, my son started yelling, “Ladies. Hey ladies.” [Insert Jerry Lewis voice for effect.] He got their attention, and I was still clueless to what he might say. “Good morning, hello or how do you do?” Nope. He proceeded to tell the unwitting party that they took our parking spot.

They were confused. I was dazed. They laughed it off. I blushed and assured them that they did not take our spot. Apparently this was not the outcome my son was hoping for so he repeated himself. “Ladies (at least he didn’t say ‘hey you’) you took our parking spot,” he said with conviction. This time they acted a bit offended. I was stammering. They didn’t laugh, and I blushed (as if I could be any more pink). I apologized to the offended party and tried to explain to my son why his comments were rude, and for my efforts I simply received a blank stare.

Of course this was just one of the quickly mounting encounters with innocent bystanders these days. I just never know when a stream of three-year-old consciousness will come zinging out of my little one’s mouth while I stand by, helpless to prevent it. I’m simply left to smooth things over (some comments are much easier than others), explain manners once again and pray that Duck Tape will come out with some new mother-friendly muzzle for little ones with opinions.


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