Tag: kids say the darndest things

Does God Have Bones (and Other Things My Three Year Old Wants to Know)

Does God Have Bones (and Other Things My Three Year Old Wants to Know)

giraffeThe other night as bedtime came (and passed) I was finally drifting off to sleep in a quiet house, when I heard a shout from the other room. My three-year-old son’s voice came wafting down the hallway asking, “Does God have bones?”

Now that’s a good one. I mean, I’m assuming God has bones since He made us in his image, but He sure doesn’t need bones or maybe doesn’t even want bones. I’m guessing gravity is a concept made for Earth, but who knows how Heaven really works.

So what’s a mom to do with these types of questions? I usually chuckle a little at his inquiries, softly smile and answer to the best of my ability; but I gotta tell you, sometimes these questions come flying at me at the strangest times and during the oddest moments, and the older he gets the more his tongue exercises its right to free speech. I mean, the kid isn’t quiet for more than 1.3 minutes at a time (and that’s on a good day). I love that he is so inquisitive, that he enunciates so well that I can understand most of what he says and that every question isn’t simply “why;” but some days my brain just needs a break, because this little guy is constantly asking me questions that keep me hopping for the right answers and quietly asking a few of my own.

Yes, I know you’re dying to feel my pain (and my pride), so I’ve included just a few of my little one’s latest inquiries here.

  • Does God have bones?
  • Why did Emily (my pregnant niece) eat that baby? Well, if she didn’t eat it, how did it get in her belly?
  • Why is a giraffe a giraffe?
  • What is dead and dying?
  • Why does Alanna (my niece with new braces) have train tracks on her teeth?
  • Why do cats have pointy toes?
  • Is pee-pee water? Then I’m watering your plants (to my Mom and thankfully outside)?
  • Why did God make kitty cats? (Yes, I know some of you also ask this question.)
  • Does God have kitty cats up in the sky?
  • Do babies pick their noses too? (It’s the “too” that’s the clincher here.)
  • Is Jesus up in the sky? Is He a boy or a girl?
  • Are trains boys or girls?
  • Why do babies poop their pants?

photo credit: ucumari photography (Valerie) via photopin cc

The Nightmares of My Toddler

Do your kids ever wake up crying in the night? As a parent, I know it must have been a bad dream, but when I check on our son he rarely recalls what caused such a fright.  Or even before our baby could verbalize he would wake ever so often like he had been pinched, and at that point there’s just no hope of figuring out his sleepy fears.

Since our son is only three, my husband and I often talk about what he could possibly be dreaming that is so traumatic for a boy his age. Well this morning I finally caught my son in a not fully awake state after an incident, and he finally told me what was ”wrong.”

He sleepily said, ”I wanted to play trains on the DVD and Daddy said, ‘No.’”

There you have it folks, the nightmares of my toddler. Whew, and I thought it might be something really horrible, like his cartoons were too violent, he secretly hates broccoli or I’m a terrible Mom. We do let him watch train videos on the iPad ever so often, so I guess that’s how the whole playing and DVD imagery came together. I just had to comfort my distraught little guy and coax him back to sleep, but as soon as I cleared his door I had to giggle and grin.

I guess his life is pretty good, and I’ll take it as a star sticker on my parenting chart if that’s the only content of my child’s nightmares. Oh, that life could stay so simple.

Warning: Inappropriate Use of Anatomically Correct Vocabulary

Don’t even ask where the conversation started, but my two-year-old son now knows the existence of “boobies” (thanks honey). In an effort to convince him that boys don’t have boobies, I explained to him that he only has nipples. . . knowing that this whole conversation would rear its ugly head at exactly the wrong time.

While his admission was innocent, the timing was wrong and yesterday in church he explained to the family behind us (and anyone else in the surrounding pews) that he has nipples. Yes, “nipples” apparently does have a place in the worship service; and yes, apparently I can turn three shades of pink. Amid giggles and smiles, the young father behind us simply leaned forward, confirmed what he heard and gave my husband a big high five.